The Hurricane That is Moving Back Home

We’ve just moved out of our shared 2 bedroom flat in London back in with my parents. The move is jarring at best.

Like the Ghostbusters Stay Puff Marshmallow Man commuting on the London Underground, there just isn’t enough room.

We have rented a storage unit to off load the non-essentials. But it seems that everything we deemed essential takes up the floor space in 3 rooms. For the past 10 days we’ve been living out of cardboard boxes. This morning I searched frantically through 2 bin liners to find a jumper to wear to work. Luckily nobody has noticed I’ve been wearing the same jeans for nearly 2 weeks now.

I have so much clutter. So what is the rational decision? Well, buy more stuff of course. But wait, not just any old stuff. Marie Kondo’s book ‘The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up’. I know right?!

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I started with my clothes. I emptied boxes, wardrobes, draws and bin bags. All my clothes were enough to cover most of the landing.
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“How do I own this many clothes?” I said to my mum. She had a pretty unconvincing sympathetic look on her face.

Flash forward 2 hours, and after grabbing each item, feeling it and asking myself whether it sparks joy or not. I was left with a rather small pile of clothes. Turns out vests don’t spark a great deal of joy. Or jeans, or knit jumpers, or anything really. Safe to say I my need to go for a clothes shop soon.

I threw out/donated 5 bags of clothes by the end of the day.
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I seemed to take longer to fold my clothes the ‘KonMari’ way than it did to go through them all. But i’m pretty impressed with the results. So much so that I called everyone in the house to have a look at my new and improved underwear draw. Nothing weird about that.

Dressing Room – Before

Dressing Room – After

But once everything was tidy and put away my partner and I soon realised that living out of 2 rooms in someone else’s house is super tricky. And there’s way more shower scheduling than I’m comfortable with.

Soon we will be moving into our own place. But till then, ‘can i quickly jump in the shower before you?’ will be uttered at least another 5,000 times.

 

 

 

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10 thoughts you have if you and your vagina don’t get along.

  1. Ok, another month and it could be fine this time

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2. Sure, it’s been terrible the last 10 years but maybe this month is the one.2

3. OH GOD I WAS WRONG. WHAT IS THIS??4

4. Elastic trousers are my only friend 6

5. My spirit animal is the bear on my hot water bottle9

6. Siri – can your ovaries burst out of your body ‘Alien’  style?

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7. Why don’t I own more knitwear?10

8. If my boyfriend breaths one more time I SWEAR!3

9. Is that period blood or am I legit dying?7

10. It’s over. Maybe next month will be better. 8

The power of the pissed off. Attending a Feminist event after the US election.

We’re all smiling, we take out seats, say hello to the people around us and wait for the show to start. A diverse group of speakers sit on the stage. They all have two things in common. They all identify as women, and they’re all pissed off. “This is not the time to be thinking about the beginning, a starting point. This is the end. This is where we have ended up. There is no going forward from this.” One speaker states. You can hear some in the crowd crying. But not a conservative whimper to themselves. A full bawl. They are comforted by the surrounding crowd. All of whom are here to hear these people on the stage tell us what nobody else will. ‘It is NOT going to be ok.’

We are in a world that has elected Donald Trump as President of the United States. And I acknowledge that a lot of people are happy about that. But those people are wrong. This world is meant to be built on unity. We are all human beings, equals. But soon after gaining an understanding of the world, we learn that we are not. As a woman, I have been told that I am not as good as a man. And as of Tuesday’s result, that I never will be. But its not just women who have been told they are not good enough. People of different religions, races, backgrounds and the LGBT community have been told the same.

It has given people the excuse of goverment to act like an asshole.

We will not grieve, because grieving ends in acceptance. We will not stand by and watch people feel invisible. Because they are not. You are not. you have a voice, use it. We can’t just complain, we must be active, for those who feel they cannot through fear.

Sitting in the crowd of like minded people I felt empowered. But also embarrassed. Here are these women, doing something, creating change. And the farthest I  have ventured into that world is being on local BBC radio to talk about sexual assault in the workplace.

So as of this morning, I have signed up to volunteer at the Women’s Equality Party. I  have made a promise to myself to become more active. To make my voice heard, and help others to be heard.

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How To Master Brush Lettering

I change hobbies like Taylor Swift changes boyfriends.

My newest obsession is watercolour pens. I bought a pack of Pentel Aqua Brush Pens on a recent Amazon binge and am totally in love.

They come in small, medium and large and I went ahead and got all three because I’m a hoarder and proud of it. shopping

I started off mastering the calligraphy alphabet while I waited for my brushes to make there way through the postal system. This gave me a good understanding of how each letter will look. But didn’t really show me how to connect them.

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3 days later a package arrived on my desk and my brushes were finally in my possession (I am a very impatient person).

What I  had to remember was ‘Press hard on the down strokes and light on the up strokes’.

This saw me through as I created my first watercolour. I created a background my soaking the pages and adding random bits of colour and blending them together. And like Ryan Reynolds in a tailored suit, it was looking pretty good.

I then took an existing work I found on Pinterest and copied it. This helped me figure out the up and down movements of the brush without worrying about what on earth a W looks like and how it connects to the other letters.

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A very apt quote if ever I saw one. I showed my bf and jumped around with glee. It actually looks half decent. Instagram fame here I come!

I tried my hand at my own design. It didn’t quite come out as well as the previous but practice makes perfect. Unless we’re talking about my attempt to learn the keyboard, that was a disaster from beginning to end.

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Are you learning a new skill or have failed musical dreams? Let me know in the comments below.

 

Pinterest Put To The Test – No-Heat Curls – Test No.3 Mermaid Hair

Test Four ‘Mermaid Hair’ Waves, sourced back to Wild Spirit

Twisty!

Initial Thoughts

I already braid my hair before bed to get waves but I have never twisted them and although this is similar to a previous pin, this one involves a more complex twist and seems way more legit.

Step One

I sectioned my hair into two and twisted from the top, adding hair in as i go I then twisted right to the ends.

Step Two

I popped a band on the end of each and then pinned both to opposite sides of my head. Then headed to bed.

The only issue I had was the bobby pins again, they made my hair go in some interesting directions, but I’m beginning to realise I have no say in it.

Final Result

WOW! I am ready to enchant a sailor and feast on his soul (that’s what mermaids are about right?!) It certainly did what it said on the tin and I am sufficiently impressed! It also made my ombre hair stand out so that was a major plus.

5/5

Mermaid-tastic

Pinterest Put To The Test – No-Heat Curls – Test No.2 – Beach Curls

How many times have you been promised a beautiful ‘just come from the surf’ look by hundreds of people on Pinterest only to find they lied and you now look like you’ve stuck your head your toaster?

Well here at Foxy Lox we have decided to put those pins to the test! Will they give me boucey curls, beachy waves and princess ringlets, or will I look like a psycho who lives in an attic and feeds on people’s souls. Only time will tell.

So lets do this!

“No Heat Beach Waves” sourced back toBuzzfeed

This one consists of splitting your hair into two and twisting each side, then pinning it over your head and waiting.

Initial Thoughts

I’m very skeptical of this one. Not only do I think i’m going to come away with hair flat to my head but also having curls that start at my ear and are completely uniform. Her Final product looks very loose and whispy, but I can’t see how that has come from twisting wet hair tightly and then throwing it over your head. But I could be wrong (please my I be wrong, I have to go to work with this).

Step One

I started with damp hair. I know hers looks quite wet but mine takes about 6 hours to dry when it is loose. If i start with wet hair it will certainly still be wet by morning.

Step Two

I pinned this a couple of times on each side of my head as I don’t quite trust it will stay in place while I sleep.

The Result

Another night of restless sleep thanks to this pin. On top of that, it didn’t work at all. Luckily it didn’t leave me a tangled mess like the last one but it wasn’t exactly curl-central either. The twists fell off the back of my head almost immediately when I moved my head or lay down and I had to pin it several times more. This left some weird bobby pin dents in my hair.

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How long till bedtime??

Keep your eyes peeling for another Pin test coming soon…

Pinterest Put To The Test – No-Heat Curls – Test No.1, Heatless Halo Curls

How many times have you been promised a beautiful ‘just come from the surf’ look by hundreds of people on Pinterest only to find they lied and you now look like you’ve stuck your head your toaster?

Well here at Foxy Lox we have decided to put those pins to the test! Will they give me boucey curls, beachy waves and princess ringlets, or will I look like a psycho who lives in an attic and feeds on people’s souls. Only time will tell.

So lets do this!

Test One “Heatless Halo Curls” originally from Kayley Melissa

Here is one I’ve seen a lot. The idea is you get a rolled up t-shirt and proceed to twist your hair around it, sleep on it and wake up with perfect curls. Easy right?

 

Initial Thoughts

I don’t think this one is going to go well. Not only do I have to balance a rolled up t-shirt on my head but also have to curl my hair around it without it falling off or becoming tangled. It also looks super uncomfortable to sleep in. Maybe it will create some bouncy curls like the photo, only time will tell.

Step One

I’ve got my old t-shirt, rolled it up and balanced it on the top of my head. I’m already seeing the flaw with this as i am using one hand to balance the t-shirt ring so this leaves the other to twist my hair around, lets call it ‘The Piles Cushion’ shall we? I’m finding it rather impossible to twist my hair around it without creating a big ol’ mess!

Step Two

I’ve managed to pin the ends in. I now feel more Bobby Pin than woman. This may be the beginning of my rein over the Bobby Pins, obviously leading to the great Bobby Pin uprising of 2016. But until then I just feel like I am being poked in the head 27 times.

Step Three

Now, the bit I know I can do well, sleeping in it. The real test is whether it actually stays in place.

The Result

I am so tired! This was so uncomfortable to sleep in. By 3am I was ready to take it out and burn it in the garden. But I persisted in the name of science.

It had beaten my expectations and actually stayed in place all night, even with all the tossing and turning.

The main problem was getting the thing out. It seemed impossible and my arms kept going dead trying to untwist my hair.

Finally I got the thing out, but not without a fair but of swearing and then yelling at my boyfriend for letting me do this in the first place. The end result was not great. My hair was so matted and tangled I battled to get a brush through it. And once I had, I was left with some pretty useless, severely damaged hair.

I’m sure there is a easier way to do this but I imagine it involves at least another hour of work. This is in no way quicker than my curling tongs, and much more labor intensive. Sure my hair was saved from the damage of heat, but I now have at least 10% less hair on my head. 

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Next pin attempt coming soon…

R x

10 Things I’ve learnt from my first week living with a boy

My boyfriend and I have just moved in together. This is what I have learnt so far.

1. Boxers are everywhere!

The bathroom, boxers. The bedroom, boxers. The Kitchen? Boxers!

2. My DVD collection suddenly contains a lot of Arnold Schwarzenegger films.

Terminator, Predator, Muscle McMuscleson: The Avenging (or something). So much testosterone the Disney films are deeply intimidated.

3. Cook twice as much food as I think I’ll need.

Apparently 2 sausages and a handful chips is not enough for someone who just got back from a 8 mile run.

4. We both have no idea how to programme the underfloor heating.

The temperature won’t stop climbing. “We’re going to burn alive!”

5. We’re both too broke for a date night.

Say goodbye to a cheeky Nandos, never again will you see the inside of a Wagamamas. Candles in front of the TV counts right?

6. I can no longer hide my terrible taste in TV.

Who is A??

7. Same goes for my music.

‘Is it too late now to say sorry’

8. More conversations about whether Jean-Claude Van Damme is a good actor than I care to mention.

Just so many trouser pleats

9. Between us we ‘ve realised that neither of us know how to ‘adult’.

Being an adult is hard. Why were we not taught this in school?

10. All in all, It’s pretty amazing coming home to someone who loves your type of crazy.

“No!” – A tale of being groped on the London Underground

10pm Friday night. Walking up the stairs to my platform and I feel a man brush past me and a hand slide right across my bum. I was in complete shock. Suddenly a thousand thoughts went through my head. Was that on purpose, was it a mistake? I came to the quick conclusion that he was a scumbag as I remembered that I was wearing a long coat and my bottom was completely covered by it. Which means he has to reach up into the back of my coat to grab me. Coming to this realisation, I suddenly shouted “What the actual fuck? That guy just groped me!”

Then, he did something that sealed his fate and cemented his place as the grosses person on this station platform. He sped up. He started walking quicker and quicker as I gained on him. I don’t know what came over me. I was stone cold sober and tired as anything but I was so fed up of this. He got halfway down the platform before the train arrived so he stopped to get on, never looking back at the woman speed walking towards him.

“Hey!” I shouted, “you just full on groped me!”

“Did I?” He replied, looking shocked that anyone would actually retaliate.

“Yes you did. How dare you.” Adrenaline was coursing through my veins. I could feel my heart beating out of my chest. I didn’t know how he was going to react. I once asked a ‘youth’ if he could turn down his music and he squared up to me and started into my eyes before kissing his teeth and reverting back to just being an arse.

This guy was clearly not a fighter and wilted like a flower when I confronted him. He made excuse after excuse.

My parting words were “don’t you dare do that to anyone again”, and I got onto the next carriage to avoid him. Once I was free of the conversation I cried, this was not a cry of sadness but of anger and frustration. I felt violated and disgusted. Sure I get catcalled on the street and I always try to shout back, but this is only the second time I have been physically touched and both times have been on London Transport.

And as my life usually goes, a tap dancing busker then starting performing for the carriage right next to me.

But I have learnt something very important from all this. The next day I tweeted that I had been groped and that I chased after the guy and yelled at him, and I got a reply from a “man” telling me that ‘you got aroused though right?’

And I now know that if you get assholes like that trolling you, you’re doing something right.