44 thoughts you have when starting your first fitness DVD

 Fitness is hard, fitness DVDs are harder.

1. I’m so ready

2. I’m Pumped

3. Let’s do this

4. Perfect body here I come

5. Where’s my water?

6. Where are my new £80 workout trousers?

7. Where did I put the DVD?

8. I really need to sort my life out

9. Oh god it’s starting

10. Why don’t I look like that in Lycra?

11. Jumping up and down? This is easy

12. Slightly out of breath now

13. Air, need air!

14. High kicks, so many high kicks

15. I can’t move anymore

16. That was only the warm up?!

17. What are they trying to do? Kill me?

18. Water break

19. That was not long enough to constitute a break

20. Burpees? I’m full of water

21. I feel sick

22. Did I just poop myself?

23. My legs hurt

24. Why is nobody sweaty?

25. Their hair is perfect

26. Mine is sticking to my face

27. Is the heating on in this room?

28. So hot right now

29. Is time moving slower?

30. They’re all so attractive

31. Look at their bodies

32. I can’t even touch my toes

33. Just think about the abs I’ll have

34. If Khloe Kardashian can do this so can I

35. What the fuck is an abductor?

36. Oh, that’s an abductor

37. Arms, legs, they all hurt

38. Never again

39. Never again

40. I’m done

41. That was it?

42. That wasn’t all that bad

43. Wait, water break?

44. Nooooooooo!


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